A Vist with My Mother



Before I tell you about my weekend, ampoule I first want to thank everyone for your heartfelt comments about my fall on the ice a few days ago. It was very much appreciated and I wanted to be sure that you knew that. I am still sore but I am able to function just fine with the exception of a sore wrist still, but it is a little better each day. Saturday I went to a baby shower. I haven’t been to one of those for a long time. It was good to get out and see some of my friends. Sunday it felt like Spring. I promised my mother last Thursday that I would come back for her over the weekend. When I got there she was asleep on a chair in the living room of the facility where she lives, Rockland Place. Her walker was next to her with her coat hanging on it. I gently woke her and she was happy to see me. “Are we going to your house, Carole? Are we going to make chocolate chip cookies?” She’s just too cute. Yes, I told her, “let’s go”. On the way to my house, she asked if we were going to Cosgrow St. She always asks me to take her there. She grew up there, and when I ask her why she wants to go back she tells me she wants to see what it looks like and if her neighbors are still there. It breaks my heart that I have to tell her every time that we can’t go. When we got in my house she sat on the chair in the kitchen. She said she would just watch me, and that was fine. She asked if I could make her a grilled cheese sandwich. I didn’t have any cheese, I told her. She just had her lunch right before I picked her up, she forgot and I reminded her. “Oh, no Carole, I have not eaten for 3 weeks, she said. “I’m hungry. Look how flat my stomach is”. Do you have any chocolate ice cream? I like that”, she said. I got her a bowl and took her in the living room to eat it by the fire. At the end of our visit, I took her back “home”. When we went to her room, I helped her take her coat off and kissed her goodbye and told her I would be back tomorrow. She thanked me for taking her out and asked if we could go out again. “Let’s go shopping. I like to shop”. I told her we would. As I drove out of the driveway, the tears rolled down my face. Tomorrow I’ll go back again and take her out for another ride. She’ll love that.
Happy day

8 Responses to “A Vist with My Mother”

  1. rondell konat Says:

    Hi Carol,
    Reading this brought back bittersweet memories for me…just always remember you are a good daughter and she appreciates that.

  2. carole holt Says:

    Thank you, Rondell. She tells me I’m the mother now, and she’s right.
    Take good care.

  3. TJ Says:

    Carole, I am also take care of my little 96 y.o. mommy so I know exactly how you feel. Mine still is able to live at home,and in general is doing well, but it is a heartbreaker to see how frail they become. She is my sweetie, as your mom is to you — and yes, my mom always reminds me that SHE IS THE MOM! I do tend to take over and, man, does she hate that! LOL. A place is reserved in heaven for daughters, that is for sure, but what a priveldge to help the one who helped us be who we are.~Terry

  4. Martha Says:

    Hi, your post brings back so many memories of the time spent with my mother! It is almost like I am reading something that I had written. Reading your post brings back so many memories for me and for that I am thankful. My mother would also tell me that she was now the little girl and I was her mom!

    In reply to you question, I live in Central New Jersey and the reason I would not do a full room stencil is because we want to move and in a few years and it would break my heart to have to paint over it. Our home is a typical 2 story colonial in a subdivision, I long for a home that is full of old fashion charm, but I am not sure that will ever happen.

    Wishing you a great evening. Oh, I think the last baby shower I went to was one for me over 40 years ago for my first child! Yikes!

  5. Rachael Says:

    Bless her heart Carole. You are a good daughter~ and even tho she has dementia, she still knows who you are! My Grandfather had alzheimers, in order for him to stay at the nursing home, we had to keep him ‘home’ one week of every month…and it was so hard on my Pa. I was just into my teens, and I can remember him shuffeling his little self out to the living room in the morning, and so politely asking my Pa “Do you know where I am?” and Pa would tell him~ then he would ALWAYS say~ ‘Larry??? My son Larry? I dont have any children”…..ohh it would just break my Dad’s heart every time. Have fun on your ride tomorrow!

  6. carole holt Says:

    Martha, I once knew a woman that lived in a split level. She was an antique dealer and when you walked through her door, you would swear you were in a home from the 18th century. Her husband even made the ceiling lower, to give the feel of an old house. it was wonderful! I am not suggesting that you go that far, but it is possible to make any house look old, or at least give it that charm of an old house, especially with the right paint colors, and some wonderful antique smalls.
    Go for it.

  7. Debbie Says:

    What a wonderful roll model you are. We built a small apartment onto our home for my parents. They still are very independant, but they are close if they need anything. It will be very sad if their memories go. You are so sweet with your mom. You are a blessing to her.

  8. Divito Says:

    My older sister, who is tedpaod, was diagnosed many years ago with manic-depression/bi-polar and it has been very difficult many years. This was all when she was an adult and I wonder if they had knowledge of this in the 70′s and’80′s, how much easier her life may have been. She could never hold a job for any length of time and always ending with yelling-their fault. Very high high’s and low low’s. And, for period of times, she would think she could go without meds, which is what I have come to know alot of people diagnosed do – because they start to feel better. SHe dropped out of school young and had a series of partly self created hardships. I wonder if she had been diagnosed young and medicated, would her path have been different? She has since over the years, come to realize that the meds are necessary to make her somewhat even-keel. While she cannot take the stress of real work, she has gone back to school to get a degree and does really well. SHe is an environmentalist in Montana and is about to own her own home. We continue to pray for her and that life keeps on this track for her. Thank you for sharing your story and good luck, and prayers to you… Marcelle

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